"X-Day is coming, Charlie Brown."

The Man of Slack, Super "Bob"!

"BOB" loved TRON

JR “Bob” Dobbs wore a TRON impulse suit in the real world.

Your argument is invalid.

Media Barrage № 23

Media Barrage № 23: "I’ll open this mirror at 1:33, the precise moment in time when the gods are unable to resist my thrust into their domain. But, once I’m in, I’m in. There’s nothing they can do. All the power of the gods will be mine!"

Hour of Slack Episode #1126

Rev. John Shirley Reads: "1996, 1997, 1998"

Rev. John Shirley reads his SubGenius short story, "1996 1997 1998" (from "Three Fisted Tales of "Bob" anthology)! That comprises 33 minutes. We also hear from the Puzzling Evidence Letters from Listeners, and some naughty trick audio mutations from norelpref.com and Mister F. LeMur.

Click the linked URL below to listen to the episode.
Hour of Slack Episode #1126

Praise "Bob"—or DIE!

YOUR INSTRUCTIONS

Resist all Conspiracy and Normal programming! Be different from them! Ignore or distort all fashion! Kill Them in the streets! Hunt Them down, smash all governments, and exterminate all leaders! Resist all conformity! Speak out for complete mutant freedom! Laugh at them before you kill! Whisper rumors in the dead of night! Build fallout shelters and arm them! Buy comic books and read them as religious tracts—they are! Prepare for the End! Mutter while walking along the streets! Eat junk! Run wild! Don't question authority, destroy it in public! Quote bizarre sources! Don't follow any trend! Lie! Make bombs and guns validate all emotions and secret feelings! Disrupt the orderly flow of life! Speak up! Declare your difference! Scream aloud the Truth in public! Make Them hear you! Store food! Hoard things! Carry weapons! Die! Cause the dead to walk! Play with toys! Spend all your money! Buy! "Live it up!" Behave poorly! Fire shots into the night! Argue with Them! Practice death and fertility rituals! Design your own church! Pray! Invoke the Forgotten Ones! Search for the Elder Gods! Steal and rob! Make burnt offerings and sacrifices to childhood gods! Believe in devils! Watch the skys for UFOs/Jesus! Break out! Mutate all over the place! Strike fear into the hearts of Normals! Alienate all "humans"! Vandalize! Don't play it safe! See what you can get away with! Get drunk! Watch TV all day long! Indulge yourself! Stop caring! Never give up! Declare your freedom! Quit your job and slack off! Make the weird signs! Consort with strange characters! Con your family and friends! Listen! Look for art and beauty in the gutter! Make tapes of winos! Go to bed! Cure Yourself! Invent things! Snarl at people! Be free! Harangue! Marry People! Levitate! Baptize! Cast out the False Prophets! Burn! Smite the Arch-Demons! Contact alien space gods/monsters! Use black magic to probe the secrets of the universe! Come out on top! Make up theories to explain everything! Goof off! Tell stories! Don't give in! Do things your own way! Don't listen to bullshit! Understand the Powers That Exist! Make public your superiority! Laugh! Damn! Curse! Get revenge! Play mean jokes! Stay up all night! Go on a binge! Explode in a rage! Take out your frustrations! Rationalize! Let it all seem unreal! Fall in love! Punch out the Boss! Control the world! Create life in your basement! Itch, scratch at it! Become the mad scientist of your dreams! Conjure monsters! Shout it out! Speak in tongues! Talk to God(s)! Give up on idiots! Never pay for it! Get out of having to do things! Put it all off! Don't bother with it! Screw it! Collect things! Dream your life away! Study what is banned! Bone up on the Forbidden Sciences! Believe in the occult!!! Have guts! Prove you're weirder than They are! Scare the shit out of Them! Be sick! Do whatever you want! Justify your guilt! Never play into Their hands! Be evil! Be good! Be neither! Size up the situation! Open your eyes! Don't do what They say! Trick Them! Walk on your hands! Make your house into a castle! Defend yourself! Write letters! Expose Them at every turn! Hide out! Go underground and stay there! Break promises! Cast off all responsibility! Don't accept anything! There are no laws! Everything is permitted! Get angry! Act ape-like! Become an Overman! Band together with other true mutants! Research it! Discover your history! Learn your past lives! Travel in time! Strike back! Plot to take over! Be unreasonable in everything! Dare! Battle with the arcane forces of space/time! Know thyself! Program the computer god! Confront the demons of your own soul! Arise! Stare into the void! Dance at the edge of the abyss! Use ESP! Travel to the stars on the solar winds! Jump in the leaves! Abandon the darkness! Embrace it all! Sell your soul to the Old Ones! Spy on Them! Penetrate Their lies! Make yourself be heard! Go crazy! Take a stand for mutant freedom! Start organizations! Protest it all! Don't try to be "cool"! Don't be a hip wimp! Get tough! Wake up! Discover forgotten things! Fool Them! Attack Their beliefs! Get rich! Warp out on music! Destroy all Their foundations! Unmask Them!

OR, KILL ME!

The Church of the Sacred Space Puppet

Wake up, puppet boy!

The Hour of Slack Episode #1125

"Insane SubGenius Pledge Drive Show"

The station where live Hours of Slack are produced, WCSB Cleveland, had a pledge drive, and we did a HELL of a pledge drive show. However, not all the other stations had pledge drives, and even if they did, none have the same call letters, phone numbers and premiums. YET, some of the rants DO APPLY to your life, station, and station in life -- so this episode consists of some of that donation-grubbing, and lots more of everything else, including koyaanisqatful collages by LeMur and Norel Pref, and some fine Puzzling Evidence.

Click the linked URL below to listen to the episode.
Hour of Slack 1125 MP3

Frop & Slack

Habafropzipulops (or "frop" for short) is a mystical herb smoked in the pipe of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. One cannot be like "Bob" unless one smokes a pipe just like "Bob." The frop makes it all the sweeter for the one wanting to be like "Bob." This is essential to the over-all slack generation that every SubGenius seek and gather in their lives. If one cannot find the frop, then one may seek out and substitute the sacred Cannabis (aka "marijuana") in the place of the frop. "Bob" will not judge one harshly for this divine substitution.

The term slacker is commonly used to refer to a person who avoids work, or an educated person who is viewed as an underachiever. Slackers may be regarded as belonging to an anti-materialistic counterculture, although in many cases their behavior may merely be due to apathy or laziness. In the case of the pipe smoking SubGenius, however, it is a higher state of being that leads to the concept pair transcendence and immanence, the slack that all SubGenius seek.

While use of the term slacker dates back to about 1790 or 1898 depending on the source, it gained some recognition during the British Gezira Scheme, when Sudanese laborers protested their relative powerlessness by working lethargically -- a form of protest known as "slacking." The term achieved a boost in popularity after its use in the film Slacker (1991), which is an American independent film written and directed by Richard Linklater.

The true power of the slack is within the slacker. One must always beware that your slack may be under attack. Never allow any person or entity to suck away at one's slack. Be wary of the evil time-vampires that will siphon away your slack and drag one down to the level of the bland normals and pink boys. Do not allow a succubus to absorb your slack. Arise! J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is the High Epopt and Living Slack Master. Slack-filled young men and women of Yeti descent worldwide will one day rule the world.

(Church of the SubGenius)

Church of the SubGenius

J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s pop-art. According to SubGenius dogma, "Bob" was a drilling equipment salesman who, in 1953, saw a vision of God (JHVH-1 according to Church scriptures) on a television set he had built himself. The vision inspired him to write the "PreScriptures" (as described in the Book of the SubGenius) and he founded the Church of the SubGenius. The "theology" holds that "Bob" is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and has cheated death a number of times. He is also revered for his great follies and believed to be a savior of "slack". He was assassinated in San Francisco in 1984, though the Church states that he has come back from the dead several times since then. The quotation marks in the "Bob" name must be included when spelling his name correctly, according to the Church.

According to Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon, "Bob" was born in Dallas, Texas to Xinucha-Chi-Xan M. Dobbs (a pharmacist) and Jane McBride Dobbs. At an early age he possessed a talent for making large amounts of money by playing the stock market over the telephone. He married his wife Connie in Las Vegas in 1955 and worked as a photographer's model while inventing and patenting novelty gag items. In 1957, he worked weekends doing Evangelical Christian preaching "strictly for the money."

"Bob"'s wife, Connie Dobbs, has become as legendary in SubGenius circles as "Bob" himself. Although, "Bob" has been married to other women, spirits, deities, and inanimate objects (he was married to Eris, the Discordian mother Goddess for a while, though she grew tired of him and kicked him out). Connie is described in the SubGenius documentary Arise! as "his first, and still his primary wife." Connie is the patron of SubGenius women, and she is seen as a vision of true liberation for women. She refuses to submit to anyone (especially "Bob". She loves the free-wheeling and promiscuous lifestyle just as much as her husband. Although, she has a level head on her shoulders when it comes to dealing with domestic issues.

According to Church lore, "Bob" traveled to Malaysia and founded a secret enclave there, called Dobbstown, where he often stays when he is not traveling. Few members of the Church of the SubGenius have ever seen Dobbstown in person, and it may be a legend similar to the legend of Shangri-La.

"Bob"'s image first appeared in the original SubGenius publication, SubGenius Pamphlet #1 (a.k.a. "The World Ends Tomorrow And You May Die") (1979). [1] Since his initial appearance, his face has appeared in numerous places around the world, and it has made cameo appearances on everything from graffiti art on highway overpasses, to musical albums by many underground bands (and several popular mainstream rock bands, ranging from Devo to Sublime) and the occasional movie (see The Wizard of Speed and Time) and TV appearance (Pee-wee's Playhouse). There are also two German comics with "Bob" ("Future Subjunkies" and "Space Bastards" by Gerhard Seyfried and Ziska Riemann). The Church of the SubGenius maintains the trademark and copyright on the "Bob" image, though it has tried to avoid taking legal action unless absolutely necessary. The image of "Bob" shows up at the Usenet newsgroup alt.binaries.slack, [2] where he appears regularly in images by many artists. Proper etiquette on the newsgroup dictates that credit be given where it is due, and acknowledgment of the ownership of "Bob"'s image by the Church is accepted by the regular newsgroup participants.

It is also found on the musical group Sublime's CD artwork for the album 40oz. to Freedom. Both "Bob" and SubGenius Foundation head Ivan Stang appear as characters in John Shirley's novel Kamus of Kadizar: The Black Hole of Carcosa. In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine internet-based poll named J.R. "Bob" Dobbs the #1 "Phoney Or Fraud" of the 20th century. [3][4]

__________________________

1. Pamphlet #1 - page 1
2. Google Groups: alt.slack
3. Readers Speak: Down with Geraldo - TIME
4. SubGenius Media Archive

What is a Freakaziod?

One who freaks the fuck out constantly. A Freakazoid! is a participant of the freak scene. The freak scene was a term used by a slightly post-hippie and pre-punk style of bohemian subculture. It referred to overlaps between politicised pacifist post-hippies, generally non-political progressive rock fans, and non-political Psychedelic music and Psychedelia fans. The individuals moved between rock festivals, free festivals, happenings and alternative society gatherings of various kinds. The name comes, at least partly, from a tongue-in-cheek reference to the beat scene.

Immanentize the eschaton

To immanentize the eschaton means trying to make the eschaton (the transcendent, uncreated, spiritual, or future; the end of days, to trigger the apocalypse, see eschatology) in the immanent world (within the limits of possible experience). More recently, it has been used by conservatives as pejorative against what they perceive as utopian schemes, such as socialism, communism, etc. It has also been used by Christian libertarians to criticize George W. Bush and the neo-conservative movement. [1] In all these contexts it means "trying to make that which belongs to the afterlife happen here and now (on Earth)" or "trying to create heaven here on Earth."

1: Callahan, Gene (October 27, 2006). "We’re Living in the Dream World of George Bush." LewRockwell. Retrieved April 26, 2008.